Most of us know what this attribute is, but I’m going to tell you how to develop it. I’ve sadly found that people today are hiding, not only behind emails and text messages, but also highly filtered photos and manufactured realities. By the time two people meet, the expectations are lofty. We’re all now amazing at working on our posts, our profile pics, and our stories, but how adept are we at working on our confidence? Possibly the most attractive attribute of all! Call it charisma, charm, chutzpah, it’s the most powerful tool you have to attract the opposite sex. It’s the quality that gives you the power to approach someone and start a conversation.
You could be the best-looking person on a dating app, but trust me, your date will be super let down if you don’t have confidence, despite your glowing filter-face. So how do we develop confidence? Easy! TALK TO PEOPLE!!! ‘Talk don’t text’ should be the name of my next book (well, my first book). We have created a void in confidence as new generations hide behind texts and posts to convey their feelings. When you visit most websites these days, you’ll see a text-bot pop up, great…another reason not to call (actually it is quite helpful in some cases), but that’s not the point. The point is we are all emailing, texting, posting, commenting, liking, DM-ing. And nobody is talking.
I say let’s change behaviours. If you want to develop your confidence, make a conscious choice. For example, if you have the opportunity to call a colleague instead of emailing, do it! Particularly if they’re of the opposite sex, and attractive. Get some game-time up. Hone your ‘in-person’ comms. Because at the end of every online dating scenario is an in-person interaction, so get good at it. Throw in some wit and some banter, and I’m telling you, your dating game will explode. You’ll notice the difference, as about half hour into a date, the other person will say something like “I feel like I’ve known you for ever”. That’s because you made them feel comfortable, they too probably arrived on the date battling a confidence issue.
All I’m saying is look for those opportunities to engage in conversation. Every time you do it, your confidence goes up a little and your next date will see it as soon as you walk in the room.