Now I don’t want to go back too far on this subject, but there was obviously a time when a man’s pulling power was directly related to the size of his club, and his cave didn’t have to be overlooking Sydney harbour in order to impress. Times have certainly changed and now dating is a delicate game of cat and mouse, with each party trying to pretend that they don’t like the other too much, in fear of turning them off. Which is a cruel twist in nature worthy of another blog.
Moving on,… I think daters are fatigued, the options are endless and people are tired of wasting their time and money on countless dead-end dates. So when they feel that spark, they want to grab it with both hands and never let it go. But often by doing that, they give off a signal that their love interest finds to be a turn off. For some reason these days, nobody wants to like someone that likes them back right?
So the dating game has gone a bit ‘off-piste’ and is harder to navigate than ever before. There probably was a time prior to online dating where a courteous courting process was valued, and if one could navigate a number of dates by being polite and maintaining the spark, then a relationship may follow. Nowadays, between dates, people are being hit-up on Instagram, Facebook, Snap Chat, and other socials, with endless friend requests and DMs, tugging their egos and heartstrings in all different directions. People seem to have multiple other love interests on the roster at any one time, giving them multiple fall-backs to cushion the prospect of a bruised ego. This means the dating process has become fragile, and so many outside distractions are scuppering the deal.
The other issue clouding our collective judgment is the expectations set by social media. Whether it’s endless posts depicting idealistic lifestyles, or even just highly filtered photos of ones self. One thing is for sure, by the time we go on a date with a normal person, we’re already dreaming about a better, Instagrammable future.
So what does all this mean? It means finding a spark should be something nurtured and respected. If you are fortunate enough to go on a few dates with someone and catch some feelings, do yourself a favour and set about a little process that involves being respectful to that person, and conscious of the process. Focus less on social media and more on your love interest. Manage the process with courtesy and respect, play the game a little bit (because let’s face it we just have to) and even if they can’t do the same, then at least you move forward with your pride, and you WILL find someone who values that.