Don’t leave a bad taste in her mouth

My friend asked me to write this blog after eating a curry before a date. She thinks it was the garlic naan that kept repeating on her. Now, this CAN be manageable with some chewing gum and some misdirection, as you turn your head strategically to release a little garlic puff down-wind. But it’s not comfortable, and it might be obvious if it keeps repeating,….we’ve all been there. But before I solve this one, let’s get back to basics.

Included high on the list of attractive qualities for most daters is personal hygiene, and this includes smell. Perhaps I should start by pitching this at the dating novices first. Before you
go on a date, have a shower, and brush your teeth. Got it? Ok, now for Level 2, wear a good anti-perspirant and maybe even a subtle perfume or cologne, but don’t go nuts with it. Sadly, not all fragrances suit all palates, so go easy just in case you miss the mark. There’s nothing worse than dating someone who has soaked themselves in Lynx Africa, when you’re more of the Rexona type. So too, with colognes, it’s not a ‘one size fits all’ situation, and they do go out of fashion.
I smelt someone wearing a global supply of Joop the other day, and once I came to, I wasn’t shocked to see a middle-aged man wearing a paisley shirt and trousers with pleats. So, make sure you do some homework if you’re going to lather up with a fragrance.

Level 3, pro-dater tip, take a pack of gum, AND lip balm. Gum will get you out of trouble, but lip balm will prevent a dry mouth from screwing up your plans. A dry mouth can come on after a couple of drinks, or even from getting a bit nervous. If you’re rocking a dry mouth during the goodnight kiss, your date will feel like they’re kissing a stick of beef jerky, and it might smell like jerky too. Awful.

But the Level 4, dating wizard tip, is to prepare internally, as well as externally. Women are better at this than men (sorry guys). A man will literally eat a kebab before a date, and only afterwards regret adding onions. Chilli and garlic sauce? Sure! No amount of Polar-Ice Extra will cut through the smell of garlic and onions. It permeates the soul. So before a date, long before, think about what you’re eating. Anything that generates gas, please avoid. That’s onions, bulk carbs, cauliflower, cabbage, and whatever else works on YOU. Anything that has a strong indelible flavour, avoid that too. Have a salad, hold the onions, you can always stop in for a dirty burger after the date, when you’ve regressed back to ‘normal you’ and no-one is looking. Think about what will make you feel comfortable and smell great. Because if you’ve eaten a seafood platter before your date, and you’re lucky enough to get a kiss, you’re going to smell like a fish market, and you’ll leave a bad taste in their mouth, metaphorically, and literally. You’re welcome 😊     

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