Now that you’ve checked in with how you’re feeling and what your value set is, I want to bring up the topic of dating etiquette. Over the last couple of years there’s been a trend in the dating scene called ghosting. You definitely know it, but to recap, it’s when you match with someone, you send a few text messages and then you (or they) stop replying, and in fact unmatch you. If you’ve online dated, then you’ve experienced this before, or you’ve been the culprit that did it! Look, don’t feel bad. I’ve done it too. I was talking to my friends about it when it happened to me for the first time. I was absolutely shocked, I thought it was the rudest thing ever. But then, after another week or so, I absorbed that behaviour and did it too! The interesting thing was how quickly I picked up that behaviour and how it then became the norm.
Concha is a company with strong values of communication, confidence, and love, and we encourage you to empower yourself and to treat people with respect. With Concha, you’re going to actually talk to your match first, and after that you can decide if you want to keep communicating. If you don’t think the connection is there and you want to keep looking, just be aware of the other person’s feelings, and let them down the best way you can. In the past I’ve actually admired it when a match has let me down nicely. It kind of hurts for a moment, but I think its less damaging than a cowardly culture of people ignoring each other after some meaningful conversations. I recall chatting to a match over the course of a couple of weeks, we even had a date lined up but our schedules never aligned. We recognised each other in a fast food place one day and met briefly in person, it was pretty cool and I was excited that maybe it was the catalyst to finally go on a date. Well I guess that person either wasn’t really attracted to the real me, or had something going on in their life, because when I proposed a time for the date, I was very politely told that they weren’t in the right headspace for the date and were even thinking about moving interstate. Sure I was disappointed, but I pretty quickly admired the braveness and time taken to write that message, especially in a world of ghosting and being ignored.
So let’s change our behaviour starting now by bringing back old fashioned manners and let’s change the way people act in the online dating scene. After all, being confident is the most amazing human attribute of all, and it takes confidence and courage to treat people with respect.
So, there’s a small piece on etiquette. We all educate each other by the way we interact and the way we make each other feel. Let’s raise our standards on our behaviour and all work on this together to make dating a better experience for everyone. After all, we are all looking for the same thing ultimately, and that is to feel acknowledged, respected and loved.