Falling in love with profile pics and a few texts

There’s something happening in the dating world that’s creating unreal expectations. We often see an image of someone we find attractive and if we are lucky enough to match, we invariably start a text-based conversation. Tell me if this has ever happened to you. After an exchange of niceties, assuming neither party is ghosted after simply saying hello (how rare!), a rapport develops. Each person’s perspective of the other is then based on photos and a series of texts.

In some cases, depending on the people involved, this repartee can escalate quickly, where heart-eye emojis are sent flippantly as the two exchange flirty missives. In some cases, feelings are caught simply from gazing at the photos and reading these warm, love fuelled texts. I admit, it is exciting as your phone dings with your next hit of oxytocin. And then you meet. More often than not it’s awkward, because the tone of texting you engaged in, prior to meeting, should see you riding into the date on a horse and sweeping them off their feet, sharing a passionate embrace and riding off into the sunset together. But of course, that doesn’t happen, you need to start over.

Depending on the confidence levels of one, or both parties, to carry the conversation, this can get awkward. But what about all the heart emojis? Can’t we just jump into a relationship? Sadly, what has happened is you’ve built a framework in your head around what you want from a real relationship, without actually knowing much about the person at all.

In some cases, it’s a fake digital, online relationship that can’t possibly be transferred so quickly into real life. Now I assume in some cases it does. I have been in this situation a dozen times, with all kinds of outcomes. But alas I can’t recall it seamlessly blossoming into a loving relationship.

So, are we fans of the text? I think we are fans of the fantasy, and that’s easier to develop by text. For those looking for a real relationship, pick up the phone and hear their voice, it’s a richer experience and one can deduce so much more from a conversation. So, as you meander through this world of words and pictures, gazing at beautiful people and sending emotive notes, try not to get too ahead of the curve, otherwise your first date will be as anticlimactic as Y2K.      

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