Catastrophising your new relationship: relax!

I want everyone to calm down and stop asking “but what’s going to happen?”. Do you, like me, have a friend who can barely bring themselves to enter into a relationship at thought of what might happen? Ok maybe it’s just me, but allow me to share this concept in the event it comes in handy for your dating psyche. So, here’s how it works…boy meets girl, they flirt, it’s good, they date, they have sex, and then someone freaks out because they’re not sure if they want to live happily ever after with that person. News flash! You’re not supposed to know after three or four dates, or even if you had sex a few times. It’s a process that includes spending quality time together, meeting their friends, family, pets, it takes time. Within that process is a checklist. And neither party should feel guilty if at any time during that process, there’s something that isn’t quite compatible. That’s life!

I know this may sound confronting, but it’s true. For example, one of the most disheartening things at the start of a relationship is when everything is going well, good banter, great chemistry, and then the kiss happens. And it’s like kissing the cold aluminium mouth hole of a rusty soda can. Or if the sex is awkward or just bad. To commit to a loving and long-lasting relationship everything should be right, that’s what love is! But please don’t second guess the entire relationship before the second date. Remain honest and respectful with the person you’re dating, the whole way, don’t overcommit too early, and if you truly feel something isn’t quite right, it’s ok to discuss it with your partner, and if it’s not resolvable, you don’t have to settle.

This may sound harsh, but I do believe love is when everything feels right. It doesn’t have to be fireworks and butterflies every single moment, but it sure as hell shouldn’t be filled with doubt and bad sex. *Drops the mic*

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